Holistic Woman

Living in the age of information, we are pulled in one thousand directions at all times. As children, we are no longer being raised by our parents alone, we are influenced and informed by the wide world on our own initiative and in our own never-ending algorithm fish-bowl.

We’ve gone from speaking with each other and, “Granny says…”, to having so much information, and it’s many times a whole lot of fluff and opinion from someone else whose reality is an ocean away from our own, and from someone who’s eyes we can’t see. We long to feel understood and to understand, but on a ridiculously large scale. We cling to usernames, glorify whoever is the most charismatic speaker, and “so-and-so says wake up at 4am”, “Mr. JBZD says go for a walk, while doing a certain breath pattern.”, and “If my whole house is clean and I throw away anything that doesn’t ’spark joy’ I’ll feel at home.” Desperately seeking wellness and often becoming only more overwhelmed.

You might suspect this is anxiety producing. I’m sure you’re also aware that our phones and apps have been designed for addiction. We are trapped in our perpetual longing. Slow days barely exist anymore, when our mind is on a hamster wheel like this for so long it isn’t even possible to stop it. “Dopamine detox” is tried and true- and elusive to most of us, because it’s such a tall order.

Please take a moment with me to consider. Doesn’t it strike you as a bit sad? Of course it is good to have information, to be able to connect with people we’d otherwise have never met. The inspiration is endless until your mind is broken. Until you’re sitting in the same spot for hours doing absolutely nothing and feeling massively overwhelmed by the end of it, if not actually depressed.

So, I’m not proposing you do anything for wellness, outside of one simple thing:

I’d be lying if I said I had timers and apps to track my phone usage. But the first step is always awareness.

I suggest a loose routine to keep you too busy to fall into a doom scroll.

In my opinion, sitting somewhere for an extended period of time doing absolutely nothing, and not having your phone on, is more productive than when you are sitting there and starring at reels or reading short excerpt’s, packing your head so full it’s not hardly registering anything. When you are actually doing nothing but starring out a window, watching a fish swim in its bowl, or a cat chase its tail, you are spending time with your own being, and if you’re like me you can probably feel your nervous system misfiring. Sit still until it stops. Sit still until you are gathered. Give yourself time.

A therapist did this exorcise with me when I was younger and it has always stuck with me through the years, it is illustrating mindfulness. Here is a video I’ve found that covers it nicely:

I’ll share my loose routine with you as it stands today:

I wake up slow, and I resent this about myself. I am practicing acceptance of it though- I realize being mad at myself immediately helps nothing. I recoil from my phone. I cross myself and say “God Help”, and do a morning prayer. To aid myself, I try and get the coffee pot ready the night before. My aim is to put actual cloths on, but it’s pajamas that win sometimes.

I get my coffee then I throw today’s load of laundry into the wash, I like to get my daily chore done (I have weekdays split into tasks) but that doesn’t always happen at this time.

My vitamins are prepared in a weekly organizer, I take those before leaving. I like to start my Roomba before walking out of the door.

I drive the kids to school and hopefully haven’t lost my temper as they tend to have the most ridiculous problems and arguments in bulk. Always an opportunity for a teachable moment!

After I drop them off I go to the gym to complete a little routine rotation on the machines, it’s simple, nothing to think about, and I can feel good for doing it.

After the gym I go to a 10am AA meeting. This gives me grounding, and somewhat of a social life that is beyond phoning a friend. I love the rooms and the support I get there. It is good for my mental!

Once that’s over I go to do a home-care shower for an elderly relative two days of the week, the other days of the week I head home to transfer the laundry into the dryer, and to do that daily chore if it wasn’t done in the morning.

I get the laundry folded and figure out what I’m doing for the kids lunch.

I go pick the kids up from school and hear about their days, and give them a reminder on what the rest of the day looks like (who has practice today, etc.). I also remind them daily that their daily chores need done before they can have any time on screens.

I get home, prepare lunch, spend time with and often just referee the children, and try to relax for a bit before starting dinner.

It is important to me to have the kitchen and house cleaned up after dinner so that I don’t wake up to a disaster in the morning.

At the end of the day we are usually able to do a night prayer as a family after their showers are done. This really sets the tone for “bedtime”; which is about 8pm.

Once they’re all in bed I spend time with my husband. We watch a show, chat, and connect after a day apart.

As you can see, the days are full, and I’ve left out my routines for side quests, practices, and skincare. To be able to effectively manage the extra things I’d like to do, starting with these basic habits are the groundwork to pencilling in the extras.

Extras that help me feel fulfilled:

Writing 🙂

Coffee and music while driving

Taking my dog to the dog park

Taking a nap

Browsing/ shopping

Hot tea with honey

Sowing

Organizing the house

Digital scrapbooking

Modern wellness feels stressful because we complicate it, compare ourselves, and put ridiculous expectations onto ourselves. I hope this post reminded you that it’s okay to keep it simple, it’s okay to be human! Sometimes wellness is just a soft blanket, simply.

“When you feel overwhelmed, you’re trying too hard.

That kind of energy does not help the other person and it does not help you. You should not be too eager to help right away. There are two things: to be and to do. Don’t think too much about to do-to be is first. To be peace. To be joy. To be happiness. And then to do joy, to do happiness-on the basis of being. So first you have to focus on the practice of being.

Being fresh. Being peaceful. Being attentive. Being generous. Being compassionate. This is the basic practice. It’s like if the other person is sitting at the foot of a tree. The tree does not do anything, but the tree is fresh and alive. When you are like that tree, sending out waves of freshness, you help to calm down the suffering in the other person.” -Unknown